Digital Photography and Imaging | Project 4: Self-Titled

 

Project 4: Self-Titled

Disclaimer: I feel very weird talking about myself in a statement/"biography" form, so pls excuse whatever awkward vibes you may feel from reading this

Biography

Tell us about yourself.

I am Jane Chong, 19 years old, currently studying Computer Science. It’s hard for me to put who I am into words but I think this song expresses a (very) romanticized version of my personality: 

“I will love you without a single string attached” - Sleeping At Last, “Two”. 

What is your passion?

My passion is in art, capturing moments or creating something new, or expressing a feeling I can’t put into words. I think the core part is being able to give meaning to my creation, and also find meaning in the subjects I draw/the culture I am exposed to. Doesn’t matter if some don't get it, subtlety is key :D

What motivates you to achieve your dream?

I say art is my dream but, sometimes I wonder if it really is. Maybe my motivation comes from being able to express deeper feelings instead of letting them manifest inside me. Maybe it also comes from being able to provide a small sense of comfort to people, to share that sadness or burden briefly, or refusing to believe that the world is as bad as it seems. Maybe it’s wanting a sense of belonging somewhere, who knows.

How do you want to visualize your dream?

Ahh this is hard. I want to portray something that feels like the ebb and flow of my state, the feeling of never quite being here or there, but being okay with that because I choose to embrace it.

This may be difficult also because I don’t have the modeling and photography skills to take my face ;-;

Statement

Tell us about your work.

This self-titled portrait will be an expression of my ‘being’, whatever state it may be in. But, it is a very hard thing to conceptualize and express, so a more accurate statement can be an expression of a PART of my ‘being’.

What is the concept behind it?

There are a lot of changing variables at every stage of life, so there will be different motivations, different people, different dreams...etc that come and go. So the main concept is to express myself embracing both the sadness and joys that were experienced with the ever-changing sense of stability and belonging. 

What is the message you want people to understand?

Honestly, it feels like the message is everywhere and nowhere at the same time but two words come to mind: “Bittersweet” and “Monachopsis”. I like the idea of an open-ended message as well. After all, aren't individual interpretations what makes art unique?

What is your motto/quote?

"A little bit of everything and nothing at the same time."

---

Mood Board

Figure 1.1: Moodboard portraits, Week 12 (7/11/21)

I liked Poster 1 because of its use of textures and random 'scribbles' to make it look like an organized mess. So I think that set the kind of 'messiness' I was aiming for in my own artwork. The second poster had this cool effect with her shirt, I may not directly implement this idea though, just thought it was cool :D Lastly, the third poster evoked a sense of 'head in the clouds' type of feeling, so I want to try that as well.

Sketches

Figure 2.1: Self-Titled Sketches, Week 12 (7/11/21)

Honestly...it wasn't as easy as I thought to start sketching, because I found it very hard to visualize myself in an artwork. I knew I had to put myself in there (which was already the hardest thing to do in my opinion) and with my image in there, I felt that I was limited...by my ability..... because I'm not that "flexible" in..physical....expression......thus, I felt that I struggled a lot trying to come up with an idea (foreshadowing later on too :,)).

So I drew the sketches with a particular image of me in mind, and that pose followed suit.

Figure 2.2: Picture in question, taken by Isaac (thanks!!), Week 12 (7/11/21)

Digitization

Figure 3.1: Moon image(left), Initial drafts (right), Week 12 (7/11/21)

I cropped out myself from Fig 2.2 for this draft. The moon was also cropped from an image I took of my moonlight ball (it's so pretty???) to be used as..you guessed it, the moon hAHA. It is placed as a crescent moon here because I intended to make it show a full cycle of the moon during the animation part but, for now, I think it looks pretty good and not-so-distracting from the subject. The textured brush effect also added more interest visually, but I also wanted it to represent a more subtle form of change, almost movement-like.

I used a texture I found online for the background but I added my own texture later on. Gaussian blur was also applied to the foreground wave to give a sense of depth.

But this draft didn't feel that interesting to me, it was rather plain and didn't feel like the 'organized mess' I was aiming for. So I tried to change the background a little bit and ended up with this:

Figure 3.2: More digital drafts, Week 12 (7/11/21)

I also experimented with different layer types and ooh wow 'Divide' gives a really interesting effect. A potential idea is to make it glitch in 'Divide' for the animation, lets see how it will go haha. The variations here are based on my internal dilemma on whether I should cover a part of my face or my entire face. I wasn't sure if my face was 'blending' well with the overall theme, a more 'serious' expression may be better.

but I don't like the way I look when I am 'serious' and I can't model for my life, so I tried to hide my face hAHAHA (but the clouds do have an intended meaning; to be the consistent visual aspect to the rain droplets)

yES I know it's not a good thing, I should be more open and you know, try neW things, step out of my comfort zone etc.. But having (proper, posing type) images taken of me (especially with my face) has always, and will always be, out of my usual comfort zone, so let's slowly deal with one comfort zone at a time okay ;-;

While Mr Fauzi liked Figure 3.1, I personally liked Figure 3.2 (the one with no obvious butterfly) more. Thus, I polished up on both compositions.

Figure 3.3: Better moon image, Week 12 (13/11/21)

Fun fact about this image: the actual moon glow wasn't bright enough cuz the battery is borderline dead, so Isaac put his phone flashlight underneath to help it reach its optimal brightness, ~innovation~ :D

Figure 3.4: Layers for each composition, Week 12 (13/11/21)

Figure 3.5: Handwritten 'title', Week 12 (13/11/21)

Figure 3.6: Final JPG Compositions, Week 12 (13/11/21)

Animation

I decided to continue with Poster 2 (the one with the boxes behind) but I took Mr Fauzi's comments into consideration as well. As the focus was not really on the photograph of me, I removed some of the 'windows' at the back and moved myself to the center.

Figure 4.1: Final Static 'Self-Titled', Week 14 (22/11/21)

Time to start the exciting part~ Being still relatively new to After Effects but still wanting to add a number of  'special effects, I went on a YouTube spree to find tutorials.

Discoveries:

• Camera Lens Blur Effect
• Fluid-like Lines Motion
• Glitch Effect

Figure 4.2: Glitch effect process, Week 14 (22/11/21)

Figure 4.3: Fluid flowy lines process, Week 14 (22/11/21)

Figure 4.4: Video and audio editing in PR, Week 14 (22/11/21)

I spent a number of days working on all these effects as it took some time to get the timing and duration right. There were many drafts in the process but I only uploaded 1 draft and 1 final to YouTube as the drafts mostly had minor adjustments here and there.

Figure 4.5: Self-Titled draft, Week 14 (22/11/21)

 

This draft showed my initial attempts in creating the glitch effect and also moving the 'windows' around in a random manner. However, there were some key things I want to change:

1. The glitch frequency was too random (and gets kinda annoying after a while).
2. The blending mode of the glitch was set to 'Divide', which felt too transparent for my liking.
3. I added back the wave window in the background but it was a distracting element.
4. I am static; felt awkward

So I changed some things and 6 more drafts later, I came up with the final video (with audio and sound effects):

Figure 4.6: Self-titled final video, Week 14 (22/11/21)

The changes made:

1. Added blur and darkening at the beginning and the end.
2. Made glitch effect in 'Normal' mode and kinda synced it to the song.
3. Added glitch SFX.
4. Added a small 'wiggle' effect on myself so it's not so static.

Artist Statement

This self-titled portrait is an expression of my ‘being’, whatever state it may be in. But, it is a very hard thing to conceptualize and express, so a more accurate statement can be an expression of a PART of my ‘being’. There are a lot of changing variables at every stage of life, so there will be different motivations, different people, different dreams...etc that come and go. So the main concept is to express myself embracing both the sadness and joys that were experienced with the ever-changing sense of stability and belonging. 

Something is always changing, be it the external environment, our familiar settings, or even ourselves. We may feel alone in this ‘unstable’ journey, so the moon represents that. The waves and fluid lines show that it’s an ever-changing cycle, nothing is truly permanent. 

As sad as it all sounds, I feel that there is a mixture between awe, beauty, and insignificance in this pattern of change - we are all part of a bigger scheme, we have the potential to be everything we could ever dream of, and still, we are only a speck of dust in the entire timeline of the universe. 

So, is everything meaningless?

Maybe.

Should that stop us?

It didn't stop us before, why should it stop us now.

Why, then, dwell on this?

A reminder, perhaps; what is life without an existential crisis anyways.

Feedback

Week 12

Mr Fauzi liked Figure 3.1 (the one with the tulip) as it is simple and there is a clear element to animate. He also commented that I was pretty much done (hAHA) and said liked the depth created by the front blurred ocean. 

Week 13

The design with the tulip has more emphasis on photography and the animation can be simple. The more 'messier' one has more focus on the animation instead of the photography. An animation suggestion for the tulip design is for the butterfly to fly away, and the clouds to reveal my face for the photography element.

Week 14

Mr Fauzi can see why I chose the design with more elements to animate, he said that it was good work :D

Reflection

From the photography sessions to editing the animation, this was an unexpectedly fun experience :D. I was very reluctant to start out actually because it involved creating something about myself. While I am used to expressing myself through artworks or music, I have never created a piece ABOUT myself (you get me??). I struggled a little when writing my own statement not because I didn't know what to write, but more of how do I put myself into words. I also struggled in thinking what type of image I want to take of myself, how can I model, will I look weird etcetc... There were a lot of limitations I imposed on myself ;-; But the image taken by Isaac was an unexpected blessing. It was very fun to learn the different animating effects (but it took a lot a lot of time hAHA) even though it wasn't compulsory. I felt that I wanted to try as much as I can because the chances of me doing something like this again feels (sadly) very low.

Other peers expressed themselves in so many different ways - some funny, some cool, some very abstract etc. It was very interesting to see how different people showcase their identity in different ways, how it embodies who they are, and their current state/motivations. While their aesthetic and outcome may not be something that I would go for, I find it very inspiring that they are able to make a concept I wouldn't excel at, into something cool and creative.

This project opened up a world of possibilities in terms of animating and editing; After Effects is a very very resourceful tool to add so many different effects. The number of layers I added in my composition made it lag quite a bit (hence the many drafts to see how it actually looks like). Other than technical findings, I think there were some personal revelations from this project too. In creating this expression of myself, I think some shadows of the burden of change have been lifted up. It helped me embrace this 'existential crisis' a little better, that maybe, in this period of time, the constant doesn't have to be anything big. It can just be the things that I create or the routines that I choose. 

So, let's change the artist statement a little bit with this glimmer of hope:

When we are only a speck of dust in the entire timeline of the universe, shouldn't we try to become everything we have ever dreamed of? 

"How rare and beautiful, it truly is, that we exist" - Sleeping at Last, "Saturn"